My father, handsome and tough, was a national wrestling champion in college and a bulldog in business. I mulled it over as I recalled my days of youth. Every preacher I’ve known says that a man’s relationship with his father tremendously impacts his relationship with his heavenly Father.” “You’ve never felt worthy to your own father. When I mentioned to my wife, Brenda, that I felt vaguely unworthy of Him, she wasn’t the least bit surprised. As a new Christian, I imagined I just didn’t know God well enough yet. Myself? I sensed only a wall of separation between the Lord and me. I’d look around and see other men with their eyes closed, freely and intensely worshiping the God of the universe. It happened every Sunday morning during our church worship service. I continued in the darkness for another ten years before realizing I needed to make dramatic changes in the way I looked at women. Nor was I aware that although I’d vowed to commit my life to Sandy, I hadn’t totally committed my eyes to her.
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Lucky no one was hurt.”Īctually, my young marriage was hurt–because I was cheating Sandy out of my full devotion, though I didn’t know it at the time. “You see, Sandy it was stop-and-go, and I was reaching down to change the radio channel, and the next thing I knew I rammed into a Chevy. That evening, I put my best spin on the morning’s unfortunate event in Malibu. Nor could I tell the truth to my beautiful wife, Sandy. No way would I tell this guy, “Well, if you’d seen what I saw, you’d understand.” I got out of the car–embarrassed, humiliated, saturated with guilt, and unable to offer a satisfying explanation. And the fellow I smacked into didn’t appreciate the considerable damage to his rear end.
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Fortunately, I was traveling only fifteen miles per hour in the stop-and-go traffic, but the mini-collision crumpled my front bumper and crinkled the hood. If my Mercedes hadn’t plowed into a Chevelle that had come to a complete stop in my lane. I might still be marveling at this remarkable specimen of female athleticism Simply by lustful instinct, as if mesmerized by her gait, I turned my head further and further, craning my neck to capture every possible moment for my mental video camera. My eyes feasted on this banquet of glistening flesh as she passed on my left, and they continued to follow her lithe figure as she continued jogging southbound. I can’t tell you what her face looked like nothing above the neckline registered with me that morning. As she approached on my left, two tiny triangles of tie-dyed fabric struggled to contain her ample bosom.
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Her jogging outfit, if it could be called that in those days before sports bras and spandex, was actually a skimpy bikini. My eyes locked on to this goddesslike blonde, rivulets of sweat cascading down her tanned body as she ran at a purposeful pace. From my sheepskin-covered leather seat, I found the view outstanding, even by California’s high standards. She was jogging toward me along the coastal sidewalk. I never intentionally set out to be girl-watching that day, but I spotted her about two hundred yards ahead and to the left. With the top down and the wind blowing in my face, I found that summer morning a good day to be alive. These four lanes of blacktop hugged the golden coastline and provided a close-up view of L.A.’s beach culture. I always loved driving along the PCH, as locals called the Pacific Coast Highway. I was tooling northbound through Malibu on my way to Oxnard, where I’d been asked to testify in a court hearing about whether a hospital should add an addiction treatment center. One sunsplashed Southern California morning that year, feeling good about life and our future, I hopped in our 1973 Mercedes 450SL–the car of my dreams, white with a black top.
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In 1983 my wife, Sandy, and I celebrated our first anniversary. And it compels this question: In relation to God’s standard, is there even a hint of sexual impurity in your life?įor both of us, the answer to that question was yes. If there’s a single Bible verse that captures God’s standard for sexual purity, this is it. “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of He is founder and chairman of Living True Ministries and a conference speaker who has counseled hundreds of men and married couples. Fred and his wife, Brenda, live near Des Moines, Iowa, with their four children. He lives in Laguna Beach, California.įred Stoeker is coauthor of the best-selling Every Man Series.
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He is founder and chairman of New Life Clinics, host of the daily New Life Live! national radio program, creator of the Women of Faith Conferences, a nationally known speaker and licensed minister, and the author of more than forty books.
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Stephen Arterburn is coauthor of the best-selling Every Man series from WaterBrook Press.